West Ham's cat-kicking defender, Kurt Zouma. Hearing that he was being sentenced at Thames Magistrates' Court for his claw-ful crimes was mew-sic to my ears, so I bounded out of the house to meet him there.In spite of my natural instincts I didn’t plan to pounce on him.
I wanted to look him in the eye and show him that some cats are too big to trifle with.When he finally arrived - tail very much between his legs - I greeted him with a hiss, but with dozens of cameras hissing around me, I knew it wasn’t enough.
I needed to get closer.Zouma was quickly whisked inside and as he waited to discover his fate, I nipped across the road for a re-think.
They say fish is brain food, and the lovely lady at the market stall was more than happy to part with a couple of tasty sardines.After being sentenced to 180 hours of community service and banned from keeping a cat for five years, Zouma reappeared, and this time I was ready.
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