'I'm a swinging coach – one person can't satisfy us sexually for the rest of our lives'

took aim at the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial in this weekend's cold open, and mocked the public's fascination with the case's more embarrassing details of the «cuckoo trial.»The sketch gave viewers a look inside the courtroom where Depp (played by Kyle Mooney) is delivering testimony in which he claimed Heard defecated in their marital bed.When one attorney (Aidy Bryant) is pressed on the validity of the claims, she says they have surveillance video of Depp's house staff «discovering the alleged fecal matter on the bed.»«Objection, that still wouldn't prove my client is guilty of anything,» Heard's attorney (Heidi Gardner) says.«But, I'll allow it, because it does sound fun,» the judge (Cecily Strong) declares. «And this trial is for fun.»Unearthed surveillance from the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial pic.twitter.com/DFdtE5uarVAfter viewing the footage, the judge bangs the gavel and weighs in, sharing, «This trail has given me a lot to consider.

Russia’s Black Sea Fleet has retreated to Crimea, out of range of Ukrainian missiles according to sources in Kyiv, leaving only two ships on patrol."The ship group of enemy forces left two ships on patrol,” says a Ukrainian report, “and the rest is undergoing repair and resupply at bases in Crimea."However, the threat of a rocket attack and a desperate landing attack does not diminish." Meanwhile, Russia has dismissed Ukrainian claims that modern navy logistics ship the Vsevolod Bobrov had been damaged by a missile in the Black Sea. The Russian Defence Ministry has released photos of what it said was the vessel with no signs of damage."It is now clear from the photographs that the ship is not damaged at all," the Ministry statement insisted.

Katie Price has shared her anger that her friend Sarah Harding’s name was brought up as part of Rebekah Vardy and Coleen Rooney’s libel case.  The former glamour model, 43, had been close friends with the late Girls Aloud star, who died from breast cancer in September 2021 at the age of 39, with the singer even being a bridesmaid at her 2005 wedding to Peter Andre.  Harding was brought up in court after it was claimed Vardy was caught taking photos of the contents of her handbag at the National Television Awards in 2018.

Peter Andre has ruled out ever returning to I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here, claiming even a massive pay check wouldn’t tempt him to go back in the jungle.  The singer, 49, famously appeared on the series in 2004, where he met Katie Price, who he went on to marry and have his two eldest children, Junior, 16, and Princess, 14, with, before their split in 2009.  Despite having a great time when he did go on the show, Peter is not keen to sign up to the upcoming All Star series.

Ukraine won Eurovision 2022 in a historic evening in Turin.

Pamela Anderson put on a very glamorous display as she greeted fans on Broadway after her latest performance of Chicago.On Friday night the 54-year-old former Baywatch babe was joined by longtime friend, artist Daniel Lismore, as she stepped out in NYC.The blonde bombshell wore her locks in voluminous curls, letting them cascade over one shoulder. Radiant!Pamela Anderson put on a very glamorous display as she greeted fans on Broadway after her latest performance of ChicagoHer hair was styled in an undefined side part, allowing the tresses to fall over one side of her head.She upped the ante in a pair of onyx black sunglasses that shielded her blue eyes from the flashes of cameras.

Gerwyn Price and Adrian Lewis clashed over an apparent "fat" jibe at the Czech Darts Open.Two-time world champion Lewis, 37, sent the Iceman crashing out with a surprise 6-3 win in the second round. Jackpot went to hug Price from behind after the match, but the Welshman didn't take very kindly to it. Price, 37, removed Lewis' hands from around his waist, prompting the Stoke thrower to have a couple of words with his opponent.

EastEnders actress Katie Jarvis has "ruined" Michelle Antonio's life, the devastated mum has claimed.Michelle, 49, claims she has since become too stressed to work and is suffering from panic attacks and flashbacks to the racial abuse she endured as a child.During a day out in July 2020, Michelle visited a cafe in Southend, Essex, just two months after the murder of George Floyd in the US and the Black Lives Matter movement.Michelle and Katie came to blows when the 30-year-old actress who played Hayley Slater branded Michelle a "black c**t," before exclaiming "black lives don't matter", before explaining "I'm a celebrity". Speaking to the Sunday Mirror, the single mum said: "How can racism like this still be going on in the 2020s? You think things have changed, but nothing has."Michelle from West London says she is now seeking therapy, has since left her job as a college assistant, demanding an apology from Katie and believes she received a "slap on the wrist".She has also called on TV bosses and believes Katie mustn't appear on television again.Katie faced being jailed for six months but was subsequently handed a two-year community order but Michelle feels as though she has been "wasting her time".Katie admitted to racially-aggravated harassment of Michelle and common assault on a club bouncer she spat at two hours later.At the time of their incident, Michelle and her family were sat outside an eatery when Katie and her two pals approached.She told the publication: "Katie shouted 'black lives don't matter, I'm a celebrity – on and on and on, she called me and my daughter black c***s."I was so shaken up and angry, frustrated, upset, embarrassed.

Married… With Children series is on the way that will reunite the iconic sitcom’s original cast.According to Deadline, Ed O’Neill, Katey Sagal, Christina Applegate, and David Fausti will all reprise their roles as the apathetic Bundy family for an animated revival that is currently being pitched to networks and streamers.The new take on the 1987 sitcom – which aired its final episode on June 9, 1997, and is one of the longest-running live-action sitcoms in television history – will be written by Family Guy executive producer Alex Carter, who also serves as showrunner.Sony Pictures Television, which owns the series, has already closed deals with the show’s original stars.Although no network or streamer has picked the animated series up yet, Fox (which aired the original), and Hulu and Peacock (which show re-runs of the show) are reportedly interested.Created by Michael G. Moye and the late Ron Leavitt, Married… With Children follows the lives of Chicago natives Al Bundy (O’Neill), a woman’s shoe salesman; his lazy wife, Peggy (Sagal); and their children, Kelly (Applegate) and Bud (Faustino).A number of follow-up series have been discussed over the years, but they often fell apart due to the busy schedules of the stars.In 2020, O’Neill wrapped his final episode of Modern Family, which like Married… With Children also ran for 11 seasons.

Budding love! Less than one year after Kaley Cuoco filed for divorce from equestrian Karl Cook, she has moved on with Tom Pelphrey.

THE Chase star Mark Labbett has hired a minder after revealing he is regularly sexually assaulted at gigs. Brainbox Mark — dubbed the Beast — makes public appearances up and down the country.

Bradley Walsh has confessed he took tips from famous football manager Bill Shankly on how to succeed in TV.The Chase star believes keeping fans entertained during his three decade career comes from his working class roots.And he also confessed he listened to advice from the former Liverpool football manager on how to stay focused at work.The ex Corrie star believes he learned a lot from Bill, who inspired his great players to stay grounded in their careers no matter what their roles and successes.Bradley, 61, said: “It is a working class mentality.“I always remember the saying the great Liverpool manager Bill Shankly once said. He said even if you end up sweeping the roads - don’t cheat and sweep them properly.“There is a whole ethos behind that is we are lucky to be in the industry we are in.”Walsh added that working hard for his life success had made him happier than ever to remain one of the UK’s top entertainers.He said: “I love my job.

McG, who has been busy producing movies for Netflix, returned to broadcast television this season with three pilots on three different networks for his Wonderland Sound and Vision banner, True Lies, based on James Cameron’s 1994 movie, on CBS; Not Dead Yet starring Gina Rodriguez on ABC; and the Jensen Ackles-produced Supernatural prequel The Winchesters on the CW. Over the last couple of days, all three were picked up to series. Additionally, BET+ just picked up Wonderland’s series Average Joe, created by Robb Cullen and starring Deon Cole.

Alan Carr poked fun at his ex husband about his prison stint whilst performing at his Regional Trinket Tour. He said that his ex husband called him and had moaned about the ‘itchy blankets, thin pillow and the holes in the walls’ whilst he was in prison. Alan and his husband Paul Drayton, 50, split earlier this year after fourteen years together.

The Chase star Mark Labbett may instil fear into many but he claims he frequently receives sexual attention from both men and women when he's out and about.Brainiac Mark, 56, who initially started his career as a maths and physical education supply teacher found fame back in 2009 when he first appeared on the popular ITV quiz show.Nicknamed The Beast for his impressive 6ft 6in frame, he often finds himself fighting off the unwanted attention which he claims even happens in the bingo halls. Speaking to the Sunday Mirror, he said: "I've done a lot of gigs up and down the country, things like bingo hall and pub quizzes and it's great fun.

Chelsea fans have developed an FA Cup conspiracy theory based on the colour of the trophy's ribbons.Before the final between the Blues and Liverpool, Match of the Day host Gary Lineker uploaded a video to Twitter showing the famous old trophy, adorned with red ribbons. Despite red being the colour of FA Cup sponsor Emirates, Chelsea fans took the presence of the crimson trim to suggest a conspiracy in favour of Liverpool.

Anna Marie de la Fuente Starting this year, Spain’s Animayo Gran Canaria will places not one, but two animated short films in the running for an Oscars. Both the winner of Animayo’s International Jury Grand Prize and – effective this 17th edition – and the best Spanish-language animated short will be eligible for consideration in the animated short film category of the Academy Awards.News broke days after the festival wrapped May 7 which saw “Prisoner Outside” by Germany’s Igor Medvedev snag the International Jury Grand award, which includes a cash prize of €3,000 Euros and the aforementioned eligibility for Oscar consideration. Short centers on a long-confined prisoner who uses his imagination to escape from his cell.

Gogglebox star Tom Malone Jr has slammed a cruel troll that said something racist about his girlfriend.Tom, who quit the Channel 4 show last year, and his family have been fan favourites since 2014 when they first joined the popular series back in 2014.Speaking about racism in the past, Tom has touched on the racist abuse he and his girlfriend Bryony have received.But a new comment has sparked a fresh clap back after Tom took to his Instagram Stories. Calling out the troll, Tom took a screenshot of the disgusting message and posted it onto his page, writing: "Another morning another racist troll.

Soft Cell are set to perform their debut album ‘Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret’ in full on their first North American tour in 20 years – see the dates below and get tickets here.The duo returned last week (May 6) with ‘*Happiness Not Included’, their first new album in two decades. The synth-pop duo, comprised of Marc Almond and Dave Ball, had recently reunited for their first album since 2002’s ‘Cruelty Without Beauty’.A short run of UK dates then followed the announcement in late 2021, and Soft Cell will now head to North America later this year for their first tour there in two decades.The gigs will begin in El Cajon, California on August 23, with five dates following including shows in Chicago and New York.Tickets are on sale now – pick up yours here and see the full list of dates below.AUGUST 2022 23 – El Cajon, The Magnolia24 – Los Angeles, YouTube Theater26 – San Francisco, The Masonic28 – Chicago, House of Blues30 – New York, Beacon Theatre31 – Toronto, HistorySpeaking on the direction of the band’s new record, Almond said: “In this album I wanted to look at us as a society: a place where we have chosen to put profits before people, money before morality and decency, food before the rights of animals, fanaticism before fairness and our own trivial comforts before the unspeakable agonies of others.”He continued: “But in the album there is also a belief that there is a utopia if we can peel back the layers and understand what really matters.”“Science fiction stories for the 21st century,” Ball added, explaining that the album was “recorded remotely during a world pandemic”.

THE quiz champion who replaced Anne Hegerty on Beat The Chasers said he was stepping into "chilly shoes" and may one day soon 'overtake' her. The Chase Australia star Issa Schultz replaced Anne on Beat The Chasers when she caught Covid and was not able to attend filming.

A vile woman who sexually abused a little girl alongside two men planned to charge for child abuse so that she could raise funds for a house with a cellar.