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Dear Richard Madeley: ‘My former lover wants to resume our affair. Should I tell my wife?’

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telegraph.co.uk

— Anon, via emailA good moment to tell your wife? Only if you’re honest about the real motive for doing so – to use her as a shield to hide behind.

If she is as in the dark about your affair as you think, you’d just be loading her up with feelings of hurt and betrayal to make yourself feel better.No, Anon, this is your mess and you have to clean it up.

Don’t drag your wife into things as an excuse for avoiding the obvious and potentially awkward conversation you must have with your ex-lover.Meet her somewhere discreet.

Tell her how much she once meant to you, but explain that the situation has changed. If you really feel like being honest, tell her what you implied pretty strongly to me – that sexually, you don’t think you’ve got it in you anymore.

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