Nadia Bokody Australia show recommendations Love FIVE Nadia Bokody Australia

Sexpert shares five words that 'ruin' sex and should be avoided at all costs

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Nadia Bokody revealed a common phrase can be a mood-kill in the bedroom because it puts unnecessary pressure on both parties.The Australian writer recalled a time a one-night stand ended in disappointment after her lover tried to dirty talk. READ MORE: Sexpert shares ‘creepy’ difference between how men and women flirt with her She said: “The sex is unexpectedly good, given we just met a couple of hours earlier and have only exchanged basic banter.“So good, in fact, I think I’m going to … OK, wow.

Yes, oh god, YES! I’m definitely going to.“’I want you to come,’ they say.“OK, never mind.”Nadia said the words made her feel like a “spooked deer” and banished “the possibility of orgasm”.She believes this is due to the “vanishing climax” phenomenon.The love guru explained this can occur when “our nervous system register a threat”.By adding an element of pressure, it can cause the body to “flee from danger”.While this is handy in terms of basic survival instincts, it can wreak havoc in the bedroom.Nadia cited a study published in the Journal of Sexual Archives to highlight her point.Research showed that saying “I want you to orgasm” can get in the way of it actually happening.And as a result, almost 60% of participants admitted to feeling awkward enough to fake climax.So what should we be doing?

According to the relationships writer, it’s important to take the focus away from orgasming.You should focus on all the things that feel good instead – from kissing, to caressing and teasing.To feel more fulfilled in the sack, the sexpert also recommends taking the focus off climaxing and enjoying the ride.Nadia added: “Moving away from an idea of sex that’s outcome focused and toward one that’s more explorative unburdens us from.

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