When my mum died I had suicidal thoughts but I never wanted to do anything. It was after my daughter died that summer that I actually tried and I ended up in hospital.
I was in a toxic bubble in my relationship, it was at the peak of how terrible a relationship can be – I was being manipulated and beaten black and blue.
It wasn't planned, but I always said that if Consy were to die and leave along with my mum that I wanted to go with them. I was numb, I wasn't thinking straight.
When you're in that frame of mind, depression just takes over. I remember becoming so unaware of my surroundings, but I managed to call 999 and they came.
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