'Toughest thing' Repair Shop's Jay Blades admits resenting his father for huge lie

express.co.uk:

The Repair Shop star Jay Blades, 52, has admitted that he once felt so desperate that he almost crashed his car into a bridge.

For numerous reasons, the TV favourite has suffered mental health struggles throughout his life, and has grown to realise how much resentment he has been harbouring towards his father.He has described his troubled relationship with him as the worst challenge of his life."In hindsight, growing up, I never knew how much resentment I had for not having a father," he explained."I had to be the man of the house and all this macho stuff."Jay finally met his absent father at age 21 - and although he had "no expectations", he was still bitterly disappointed."I asked him how many brothers and sisters I had and he lied," the furniture expert lamented, "which showed me what kind of a person he was."He added to the Telegraph: "The toughest thing was not having someone that could show me how to be a father."Jay explained that he now regards his dad merely as "the man who contributed towards my birth".The one lesson he has learnt from him, however, was "how not to be a father," as Jay has vowed to try his best never to repeat his mistakes.Meanwhile Jay looked towards his local community for older role models, instead of relying on male family.He has been through so much personal growth in the years that followed the disappointment with his dad, that he now regards showing vulnerability as a strength, instead of a weakness.Seven years earlier, he cried in front of another man for the first time, and realised that being vulnerable didn't equate to being a victim.Jay no longer needed to play the "tough guy" in order to feel safe.Prior to that realisation, he recalls a moment when he had been "driving up the.