campaign’s dubious spending on things like OnlyFans and Botox and poked fun at panda diplomacy overshadowing President Joe Biden’s summit with his Chinese counterpart.Santos, portrayed by Bowen Yang, was questioned by Weekend Update co-host Colin Jost following a scathing ethics report released last week that revealed the lyin’ Long Island Republican abused his campaign funds for his own personal pleasures. “This has not been a good week for you,” Jost said before listing off the questionable purchases made with thousands of Santos’ campaign dollars, which include subscriptions for the amateur porn site OnlyFans, Botox, and purchases made at Sephora and Hermes. “Oh please,” Santos replied. “Isn’t Congress kind of like OnlyFans anyways?
People paying you to do nasty things on a sad, bad livestream?”Santos, who has said he will not run for reelection in 2024, then faked a phone call from Pink, Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, and Mya about taking on a role in a sequel to “Lady Marmalade.” “Everything out of your mouth is a lie!” Jost fires back moments before Santos took another supposed phone call, using a baby as a receiver, to discuss plans for Friendsgiving with Martha Stewart. “It’s the new iPhone Baby,” Santos insists.“Oh Colin, everyone jokes about me, but you all know the truth.
You’re going to miss me when I’m gone,” Santos adds, pulling a plastic cup out from under the desk before rattling off his own version of “Cups” from Pitch Perfect.
Earlier during the show’s open, President Joe Biden, played by Mikey Day, discussed his meeting earlier this week with Chinese President Xi Jinping, before he was joined by Tian Tian, one of the three pandas brought back to China from the National Zoo in Washington, DC. “I’m.
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