I knew that bringing a child into this world would mean pain. I've watched a fair few episodes of One Born Every Minute with my head held in my hands.
And I once made the mistake of reading an article about a woman's perineal tear that made me eyes water and put me right off my takeaway curry.
But what I never envisioned was that my journey to birth would be so painful.To be more specific, a literal pain in my bumhole.
Yes mother, I'm discussing my bumhole in a public forum. Let's hope Granny never learns how to access the internet and Google my name.
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