Riot Games has marked the occasion with a fake set of “patch notes” for its PC shooter Valorant.In the “patch notes”, Riot Games outlines a Valorant update that would transform the shooter into a hellscape for many of its fans.The fictional update would see Gekko’s “bestie” Wingman gain the ability to pick up and wield guns, while Breeze would become Valorant‘s only playable map.According to the patch, shots fired from each spawn will now shoot directly into the enemy spawn because “map control is mid anyway,” and a “Suss Teammate Mode” would drop players into a version of solo queue with their scoreboard and communications disabled.The fictional Valorant would also bring some good news for Brimstone fans, as the agent’s beard would give a rapid-fire bonus to any agents within his vicinity.Luckily, the update isn’t real — though in the real world, Valorant has had a very busy few weeks.Episode 6 Act 2 of Valorant kicked off in early March and introduced a new agent called Gekko.