Mel B still wakes up ‘drenched in shame, sweat and fear’ due to PTSD five years after abusive relationship

metro.co.uk:

Spice Girls star, 46, ended her marriage to Stephen Belafonte, 46, in 2017 after claiming he had emotionally and physically abused her during their 10-year union, which the producer has always denied.Mel revealed that while she has tried to block out the memories, they come back as flashbacks at night, causing her to lose sleep.She told The Sun: ‘Nearly five years on I still wake up in the early hours with terrifying fragments of sounds and images flitting into my brain.‘Things I’ve tried to block float to the surface — things that can still make me feel drenched in shame, sweat and fear.’Mel spoke out about her experiences in her book, Brutally Honest, in an attempt to raise awareness of domestic abuse and to help others who may be going through similar circumstances.While writing the book, Mel found that she was struggling to remember that time in her life due to having repressed so much of it, and was ‘horrified’ when she realised her daughter Phoenix, now 22, was able to fill in some of the details after having witnessed what her mother went through.Mel turned to drink and drugs to ‘dull the pain’ after finding she had nobody to confide in after being isolated from her loved ones.She added: ‘I didn’t realise, until after my book was published, that so many women follow this exact pattern.

Drugs and drink are a form of self-medication to blot out torment, shame and guilt.‘I was completely out of it when I was videoed having sex — one of the most humiliating things that I endured in my abusive relationship.’Mel revealed that she would ‘put on a front as if everything is OK’ in the hopes that by pretending she may then be able to ‘enjoy a normal, loving relationship.’The singer married Stephen in secret in 2007 and the.