Learning To Be Unlikeable Is the Best Thing I’ve Ever Done—Here's Why
glamour.comin my life (predominantly to help with my endometriosis flare ups) and invariably, many of them have been crap. And it’s always for one specific reason: I’m trying too hard to be likeable.
I'm more concerned that the masseuse should warm to me, should think I'm agreeable, should leave our 60 minutes together thinking, “I wish I had more clients like her,” than whether I am enjoying the experience myself.
The experience that I have paid for.And it doesn't end with massages. I've only ever felt safe if I feel I am behaving in a “likeable” manner.
Whether that’s toward a potential employer, rewriting emails to the payroll department over-and-over until I’m satisfied that they don’t sound pushy or ungrateful—even though they’re three months late paying me—a mom at a sensory class (who I try to engage in pleasant conversation as I wrestle a diaper back onto my eight-month-old), a server at a restaurant, my doctor during an exam or, more recently, the teacher at my prenatal course, who I was so concerned should like me that I directed all of my energy toward that aim.
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