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‘Glorious’ Review: A Very Mixed-Up Man Finds Salvation in a Haunted Glory Hole

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Peter Debruge Chief Film CriticIn “Glorious,” J.K. Simmons plays the voice of an ominous Lovecraftian god lurking behind the glory hole of a random roadside restroom.

That’s practically all the pitch Shudder audiences need to sample this not-nearly-as-sick-as-it-sounds oddity from genre-movie superbrain Rebekah McKendry, whose expertise in all things horror outstrips her knowledge of the basics of men’s bathrooms — including what they look like and how dudes behave when they become aware that there someone/thing heavy-breathing in the neighboring stall.

Then again, getting creative with such logistics hasn’t impacted “Porky’s” place in film culture, so why should it be a deal-breaker here?It’s just that, even at 80 minutes, “Glorious” feels four times too long for what it is.

Though the movie’s premise (hatched by Todd Rigney, then fleshed out by Joshua Hull and Fangoria veteran David Ian McKendry) may seem juvenile, director McKendry navigates by an inexplicable parallel-dimension sense of “good taste”: She makes it a point to avoid the transgressive shocks one might expect from the concept — like what would happen if Wes put his eye (or any other orifice) up to the hole — instead treating this outré encounter as some kind of cosmic judgment day.

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