Elle: Life, Lessons, and Learning to Trust Yourself” that she used to force herself to throw up from drinking vodka every night after putting her children to bed.During an appearance on the Carrie and Tommy radio show last week, Macpherson said she didn’t try to conceal her addiction issues at the time. “I didn’t keep it hidden, it was just a function of my life,” she said.“The father of my children was living in another country and he was only home on the weekends.
I was at home with the kids and that’s what I did,” added Macpherson, who shares sons Flynn, now 26, and Cy, now 21, with ex-husband Arpad Busson.“I used to think if I throw up I wouldn’t have the alcohol in my system,” Macpherson also said. “How bonkers is that?”The “Friends” actress explained that her heavy drinking and vomiting were her attempts to “control the outside world so I would feel at peace inside.” “And ultimately I realized there is nothing outside myself, no people, place or thing, no behavior or habit, that can replace the feeling of inner peace,” Macpherson noted. “Nothing can fulfill you like inner peace.”She went on, “Trying to fix it all on the outside didn’t work.
I tried that for a long time, and I was really good at it, until I started to realize that it was really about what was going on inside, and that if I wanted to address things I had to look within to find why I was doing it and what I was hoping to achieve.”The WellCo CEO also shared that she was “excited” when she went to her first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. “I wanted to apply the things that I’d come into in rehab in real life, and that was sort of the craft or the mastery.
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