Being Thin Was My Dream—But So Was Writing a Novel

glamour.com:

When I was in my mid-twenties, I found myself in a group for women who were obsessed with being thin and There wasn’t an official name for the affliction we had.

We were women who spent much of our days thinking about what we’d eaten, how much we’d eaten, and what we would—or would not—eat in the future.I found dieting—something I’d been doing —thrilling and consuming.

I loved the challenge. When I could restrict my eating, I felt powerful.The problem? It was hard. My body, equipped with the primordial fear of starvation, was a formidable foe.

I would say no to cake at a child’s birthday party and my brain would spend the rest of the day obsessing about it—that thick frosting, the way it gives resistance to the knife.