‘The Last Voyage of the Demeter’ review: Dracula dud sucks

nypost.com:

came the unfunny “Renfield,” starring Nicolas Cage as the count and Nicholas Hoult as his mistreated assistant. And now, as if we haven’t been bitten enough already, here’s the new horror film “The Last Voyage of the Demeter,” about the vamp’s not-so-pleasurable cruise to England.Running time: 118 minutes.

Rated R (bloody violence). In theaters August 11.As always, Dracula sucks blood. But his latest movie simply sucks.Director André Øvredal’s choppy film is based — as loosely as possible — on the captain’s log from Stoker’s 1897 novel, about the doomed watery journey from Bulgaria to Whitby.

The project languished in development hell for years, and you have to wonder why so much time and effort went into it. Anybody with a kindergarten diploma knows that the experience of watching Dracula gradually kill one sailor after another in exactly the same way aboard a medium-sized vessel with only a few rooms would turn out to be mind-numbingly boring.And, oh, has it ever.

Øvredal attempts to overcome the lack of an engrossing plot by upping the gore, which has worked wonders for the “Evil Dead” movies.