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Robert Pattinson Claims He Invented a Pasta Burger. I Tried to Perfect It.

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Robert Pattinson had a dream. In isolation, the former vampire and the current Batman was ruminating on a business plan that should be foolproof.

It began with two simple questions: “[What if] pasta really had the same kind of fast-food credentials as burgers and pizzas” and “How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?” His invention would be called the “Piccolini Cuscino,” he told GQ.

In Italian, it means “Little Pillow.” Throughout Pattinson’s recent cover story with GQ, it’s clear that he has no idea how to bring this dream to fruition.

That is largely because he has the cooking intuition of a raccoon in a caveman’s body; the actor microwaves pasta, substitutes corn flakes for bread crumbs, binds his burger monstrosity with

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