The TV ratings were celestial, the crowds unprecedented and the media downright reverential, so in purely show business terms the British monarchy’s new boss, King Charles III, should feel thrilled for having survived an historic week.Hollywood’s applause, to be sure, was more reserved: If the monarchy were a subsidiary of a Disney or a Warner Bros Discovery, the king would likely find himself summoned this week to urgent meetings: Charles III needs charisma training, and so does his supporting cast.
The royal family’s bottom line desperately needs new revenue streams. Fragile ties with global allies and affiliates must be strengthened to fortify the Commonwealth’s economic leverage.In short, the multibillion-dollar “firm” (as the royal family calls itself) is in sufficiently dire shape so that, if controlled by Hollywood, swarms of consultants would already be crawling all over the castle.
All the castles.“If it costs at least $2,000 to tour Disneyland for a day, even with a so-called Magic Key, by comparison royal shows cost bubkis,” comments one Hollywood theme park executive. “Big Ben doesn’t know from TikTok.”While the monarchy can put on a great show from time to time — witness the past week — some would argue that it has become an anachronism as symbolized by the crown itself.
Given its 3,000 diamonds and other random gems, even Queen Elizabeth II admitted that it’s simply too cumbersome for any future royal to wear.Queen Elizabeth II’s State Funeral – A Photo GalleryThe royal family’s financial heft presently approaches $28 billion, according to insiders, who also believe an honest accounting might vastly surpass that sum.
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