How to Get Over a Broken Heart, According to Psychologists

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is a solid “absolutely awful.” Most of us have been there at some point, left wondering how to get over heartbreak. While there’s no surefire way to avoid a broken heart (unless you’re an unfeeling robot, of course), there is a way through it—even if, at the moment, you truly believe you’ll never be happy again.

Understanding how your mind works—and how to work it better—can be helpful after breaking up. “It's important to understand that we humans come hard-wired with the ability to experience pleasure from our intimate connections and pain form heartbreak,” says Dr.

Nan Wise, a sex therapist, neuroscientist, relationship expert, and the author of “The oldest part of our brain, which we share with all mammals and many other animals, has a circuit of brain regions—the panic/grief/sadness system—that gets activated when we experience the loss of an important relationship.” According to Wise, this means your body can very much feel the physical and emotional aftereffects of a breakup because our brains instinctually view relationships, and the resources they provide, as essential for survival. “When activated, this panic/grief/sadness system creates painful withdrawal-like symptoms: an ache in the heart, overwhelming sadness and despair, ruminations, regrets, and diminished enthusiasm for life,” explains Wise. “It is important to remember that heartbreak and subsequent grief are not pathological, but a normal part of being an emotional creature.

It is just the dark side to our life-affirming ability to form loving, intimate connections.”Here, Wise and other experts share advice for how to get over heartbreak.