‘Grief is strange - it’s not always sad’ - TV’s Tom Allen opens up on losing his dad

ok.co.uk:

As one of Britain’s best-loved stand-up comedians, Tom Allen has us howling with laughter on shows including Live At The Apollo, Mock The Week and The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice.

But away from the limelight, the comic isn’t afraid of showing us his more sensitive side. In his latest memoir, Too Much, the star writes about life growing up in Bromley, Kent – and it wasn’t exactly a bed of roses.Tom, 40, struggled to navigate life at his tough comprehensive school and did his best to hide his sexuality and famously flamboyant personality from his peers. “It was hard and I was quite frightened at first,” says Tom, who lives with his partner, actor Alfie Garston, 35. “I was always trying to hide away and not let on that I was gay or eccentric, or different from the rest of the boys.There were some bullies there, which I had to learn to live with.” Luckily, Tom always had the love and support of his parents, Irene and Paul – even if coming out to them at the age of 21 was a nerve-racking process.

Recalling the day he decided to tell them he was gay, Tom says he opted to break the news to his dad long distance, rather than face-to-face. “I told my mum first, because I instinctively thought she would understand,” he remembers. “I then later told my dad over the phone.

Oddly, Dad was more upset with me because I had felt unable to talk about it to him sooner – which sort of shocked me because in the end, when it mattered, he was more emotional than my mum.” Tom’s father died two years ago after a sudden heart attack at the age of 80.The heartbreak of losing such an influential figure in his life is something the comic is still learning to cope with.