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'My in-laws are massive swingers and their wrinkly mates want my "fresh meat" to join'

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READ MORE: 'My husband's become boring and chooses porn over having sex with me'Between them they’ve met (and served) lots of famous people.

They’ve been around the block and scored a shed load of money.Now we’re being forced to move in with them because our new house is still a building site.My in-laws live in a tasteless bungalow I call Tacky Mansion.

The walls are bright pink and there are fluffy carpets in every room (including the bathroom).Outside there’s a pool (complete with blow-up flamingos), a hot tub and disco-themed bar.The whole heap wouldn’t look out of place in suburban Miami.

You get the picture?I love my wife because she’s nothing like her larger-than-life parents. She was mainly brought up by her grandmother.She’s oblivious to her exotic mum and dad and their crazy ways because she takes them with a pinch of salt.But how am I supposed to cope with being under the same roof as them when my mother-in-law tells me her wrinkly mates all fancy me and that they could all do with some “fresh meat” on a Friday night?My girl tells me to ignore her and “suck it up” because we’re going to be living rent-free for at least six months.But don’t you think they should curb their excessive ways out of respect for me?If I’m completely honest, I’m longing for a little peace and quiet this summer. JANE SAYS: If you’re looking for peace and quiet, then you’re obviously going to the wrong place.

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